We are all about using engagement to create a conscious foundation for your marriage. This Kinship Moment will help you talk about your wedding planning gender roles with your partner! The exercise below will ask each of you to think and share about your roles in wedding planning, to help determine how to delegate responsibilities, how to support each other, and how to use this time to connect more deeply.
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How familiar does this dynamic sound: The bride-figure creates the Pinterest boards, starts brainstorming with their friends, begins research for vendors—the groom-figure takes a step back to "support" and give their "approval" when necessary. The bride stresses about family dynamics, table settings, and *the* dress—the groom offers his advice but may be shut down or dismissed. When the wedding is done, the bride reflects on what she could have done to make the day smoother, and feels responsible for any issues or mishaps.
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So you're engaged... now what? Make sure you're on top of it with our wedding checklist!
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For all of us who are living in this current unprecedented time of contagion, lockdowns, layoffs and resource shortage, there is uncertainty about even the most basic aspects of daily life - when we can return to work, restaurants and gyms, when our collective health and wellbeing will feel less at risk, when will society return to “normal.” No one knows. And, despite that these are indeed unprecedented times causing unprecedented uncertainty, it’s worth appreciating that uncertainty is sort of the name of the game when you are a human, and our current state is simply an exaggerated form of the uncertainty that comes with being alive..
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Have you heard the tale of the mystical MOMzilla? She is a fiesty creature who only reveals herself during her child’s wedding planning and then reverts to her former mortal human body once the wedding is over, the flowers have been arranged perfectly, and the guests have gone home, happy and full and a little tipsy.
How do we understand what transforms some moms into some version of Moira Rose Schitt? For the record, all family members (not only mothers) are susceptible to crumbling under the emotional strain of a family wedding, leading to uncharacteristic or exaggerated behavior and relational conflicts. Learn more about how to reason with family members like this (and understand the psychology behind this phenomenon) through the link in our bio, and share this post with a friend who needs help with their "Moira" mom!
The Bridechilla is the bride-to-be who feels compelled to act like the cool, chill bride, despite having feelings and desires that are anything but cool and chill. It’s painful to be a Bridechilla—the origins of this tendency are very tender and very old, both societal and personal. On a macro level, the cultural conditioning around what it traditionally means to be a woman demands that we renounce our individual desires and needs for the good of the greater whole. We must sacrifice. We must be selfless. We must not step on toes. We must shut up, smile and look pretty.
If this description is resonating with you, know that there is nothing wrong with being a Bridechilla. Know that if you identify with this, this capacity you’ve developed for scanning your environment to intuit and meet the needs of others is actually a sophisticated way to safeguard your own safety and well-being. Head to our newest blog post (link in bio) to learn more about the bridechilla and a helpful journal prompt!
Cancelled bachelorette parties. (Replaced with Zoom happy hour in which all friends are donning matching tanks? Cute but sad.) Virtual wedding dress shopping. (Umm, who takes your measurements? Unclear. Where do I find a measuring tape?) And postponed weddings... The Coronavirus pandemic has destroyed the best laid plans, wedding plans included. How can “nearlyweds” process how this global trauma has impacted their plans, hopes and dreams for their long-awaited wedding day? The key lies in allowing yourself the space to grieve fully, and then connecting with yourself deeply in order to get really clear about your priorities.
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Let's talk: Social Anxiety. Social anxiety describes an experience in which one becomes excessively fearful of social interactions due to anticipation of being judged or negatively evaluated by others. It isn't just about being nervous or shy; rather, it creates intense emotional pain and can lead to depression, panic attacks, and avoidance of otherwise health-promoting experiences. So, this is a pretty rough thing for anyone to suffer through… and for spouses-to-be, it can be an utter nightmare.
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