The Myth of the Bridezilla (hint: she's just a bride doing the best she can)

We’ve all heard the horror stories. Some women lose their minds during wedding planning. What monsters.

This characterization of a bride who has turned into a monster during her wedding planning is not only unfair, but it’s damaging to women. The Myth of the Bridezilla is yet another sexist way of labelling women who appear to be overly emotional in the eyes of our patriarchal society as hysterical, irrational, not to be trusted. It is a way of demeaning women for their emotional experiences and implies that women should be better behaved, less demanding, and less feelingful.

Why don't we stop to think: what is it about the engagement and wedding planning process that seemingly transforms so many women into monsters worthy of our contempt? What is it about our culture that produces so much pressure about what this process and that day need to look like?

Emotionselizabeth wellingtonMarch 4, 2020wedding planning, emotions, bridezilla

What Do "Wife,” “Spouse,” & “Husband” Mean to You? How Engagement Impacts Identity

Engagement and wedding planning can bring tremendous anxiety because it signals that we’re becoming someone new. A new version of ourselves. With a new title, a new last name (potentially), a new role, and a new place in society. This shift in identity, even if exciting, can also bring uncertainty and a sense of loss.

As my own wedding day drew nearer and nearer, I began to feel incredible anxiety when I thought about becoming a “wife.” In my mind, the traditional archetype of this role felt out of sync with the identity that I had carefully constructed for myself over my thirty-three years of singledom, which was that of an independent, self-sufficient, modern woman. I had a hard time integrating what I thought in my mind was the role of a “wife” into my idea of who I am and who I wanted to be.

Emotionselizabeth wellingtonDecember 11, 2019identity, emotions, wife, social order