Posts tagged emotions
Contagious Emotions: Understanding How Emotions are Transferred Can Seriously Improve Your Relationships
Contagious Emotions: Understanding How Emotions are Transferred Can Seriously Improve Your Relationships

Induced feelings—what are they? Why do certain people often make us feel crazy..or jealous…or rejected? How we feel when we are in the presence of a particular person may be important information about both that person and our own self.  And, if we can leverage this information, we have the potential to gain a better understanding of our loved ones and how our relationships operate! We are constantly transferring our emotions to one another—and we often do this for the purpose of finding emotional balance and getting rid of emotions that don’t feel good to us. The strategy looks like this: if I am feeling a certain kind of way that I don't like, I will unconsciously (I may not realize I am doing it) find a way to get rid of that emotion and have someone else contain it for me. The way I might do that is by behaving in a way that transfers that emotion to them.

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Emotionselizabeth wellingtonemotions, relationships
The Myth of the Bridezilla (hint: she's just a bride doing the best she can)
The Myth of the Bridezilla (hint: she's just a bride doing the best she can)

We’ve all heard the horror stories. Some women lose their minds during wedding planning. What monsters.

This characterization of a bride who has turned into a monster during her wedding planning is not only unfair, but it’s damaging to women. The Myth of the Bridezilla is yet another sexist way of labelling women who appear to be overly emotional in the eyes of our patriarchal society as hysterical, irrational, not to be trusted.  It is a way of demeaning women for their emotional experiences and implies that women should be better behaved, less demanding, and less feelingful.

Why don't we stop to think: what is it about the engagement and wedding planning process that seemingly transforms so many women into monsters worthy of our contempt? What is it about our culture that produces so much pressure about what this process and that day need to look like?

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Emotionselizabeth wellingtonwedding planning, emotions, bridezilla
What Do "Wife,” “Spouse,” & “Husband” Mean to You? How Engagement Impacts Identity
What Do "Wife,” “Spouse,” & “Husband” Mean to You? How Engagement Impacts Identity

Engagement and wedding planning can bring tremendous anxiety because it signals that we’re becoming someone new. A new version of ourselves. With a new title, a new last name (potentially), a new role, and a new place in society. This shift in identity, even if exciting, can also bring uncertainty and a sense of loss.

As my own wedding day drew nearer and nearer, I began to feel incredible anxiety when I thought about becoming a “wife.”  In my mind, the traditional archetype of this role felt out of sync with the identity that I had carefully constructed for myself over my thirty-three years of singledom, which was that of an independent, self-sufficient, modern woman.  I had a hard time integrating what I thought in my mind was the role of a “wife” into my idea of who I am and who I wanted to be.

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Emotionselizabeth wellingtonidentity, emotions, wife, social order