Our Chat with Caroline of Wedfuly about Virtual Weddings and Family Dynamics

We chatted with Caroline Creidenberg, Founder and CEO of Wedfuly, which specializes in planning and executing virtual weddings. Here’s what she had to say about her role at Wedfuly, the pros & cons of planning a virtual wedding, and navigating family dynamics while wedding planning.

Q: What’s your biggest piece of advice for engaged couples?

“My biggest piece of advice is try to be sensitive towards the moments that are difficult for family. This is a big change for them as well, they are inviting a new person into their lives and in a way losing a piece of you to another family… emotion always comes out in different ways.”

Q: What drew you to the wedding industry?

A: I was drawn to the wedding industry because I needed to find a space that was equal parts tech, or could have equal parts tech and female presence. I really struggled with the male-dominated culture of the tech industry. Specifically, I had been working at a finance tech company, so there were just a lot of cultural things that I didn’t feel fit me. The wedding industry from the outside seemed to be the complete opposite and full of female presence and in a way had turned into the industry it was because it was run by a ton of female entrepreneurs. I also saw space for massive change that I didn't see in a lot of other industries.

Q: Family dynamics, as you know, are very present in the wedding planning process. What is it like for you to be in the middle of these dynamics, and do you have any tips for nearlyweds around how to deal with a difficult family situation?

A: Oof! That is a hard one. I think a lot of people in the industry, specifically on the planning side joke that they are part planner, part therapists sometimes because that does ring true in so many ways. A huge aspect around this that I find interesting is the financial involvement of others and how that plays into the decision pressures with family. We actually aren't hugely involved in the family dynamic part of this because we work directly with the couple during the planning. What we do get to experience is the relationship of family members who are involved virtually, which is really fun. My biggest advice is try to be sensitive towards the moments that are difficult for family. For us, it's the tech side. Try to be sensitive around the fact that your parents or aunts and uncles or grandparents aren't going to feel 100% comfortable with the tech and implement ways to soothe this anxiety and make them feel comfortable. For the non-tech pieces, still try to be sensitive around the emotional side of what's going on. This is a big change for the family as well, they are inviting a new person into their lives and in a way losing a piece of you to another family (that sounds dramatic, but I just mean that you are now a part of two families sometimes). Be sensitive towards the fact that while the wedding is your wedding, there are people in your lives that have had a huge impact on you and been a part of your life for a long time so it's emotional for them as well and emotion always comes out in different ways. Remember, it is your wedding, but that doesn't mean it gets to be all about you all the time.

Q: Now that you’re focusing on mostly virtual weddings, are the family dynamics still present / the same? Any observations you’ve made about the shift from IRL to digital?

A: I think we get to be involved in family dynamics in a really cool way. We get to know these families in a very interesting manner i.e. virtually. I'd say overall, the family dynamics are less apparent because it's such new territory for a lot of people, they listen more to the expert. Obviously people will always want to give their two cents and their advice on things, but in a way, they aren't trying to push traditions on you or throw out ideas they've seen in the past because quite frankly, this is typically their first virtual wedding and they’re  just happy to be a part of the day, safely, from the comfort of their homes. Also, I think people who have virtual weddings tend to be people who care deeply about others and their wellbeing, they are offering this elevated virtual experience so that their loved ones don't feel pressure to sacrifice their health. We still do have some crazy family members who want to be more involved than the couple wants them to be, but that will never go away!

Q: What are some of the pros & cons of planning a virtual wedding now rather than wait to have a IRL wedding later?

A: Virtual weddings allow you to focus on what truly matters, which is planting the seeds to build an amazing life together. It strips down all the fluff around weddings and comes back to the core of love. These are uncertain times we are living through and the last thing you want is to be going through that without legally being a partnership. On top of that, weddings cause a lot of stress and postponing to a later date when we don't know what things will look like causes a lot more stress. There's something really nice about doing it now and embracing what that looks like. All our couples who had a big IRL wedding planned and switched to doing an intimate IRL + virtual element so that all their loved ones can make it have the most magical experiences. I think it all comes back to the fact that you're still getting to marry the love of your life and that emotion doesn't change regardless of where you do or how many people are physically there with you. One of our couples said the coolest thing - "We felt like we had an incredibly intimate wedding that just happened to also include 700 of our closest friends.  It was the perfect way to get married and we're so glad we did it."

Q: Any other tips for nearlyweds right now?

A: Plan B during the pandemic doesn't have to replace or replicate Plan A. If you change your mindset and shift your vision to accommodate this new amazing virtual wedding, you're going to have an amazing experience. Plus, the stress of waiting to get actually married goes away and you can wait until there is more certainty in the world to plan a big celebration. You remove the stressful part of having a wedding from the fun part of throwing a party - honestly the best of both worlds! Not to mention you just saved a LARGE amount of money during an already uncertain financial time.

Thanks so much for sharing your expertise, Caroline! Learn more about Wedfuly and their offerings here.